Violence Against Childen
Physical Violence
Verbal & Emotional Abuse
School Violence
Bullying
Dating Violence
Sexual Abuse
or Any Other Abuse or Violence?
ASK ANNIE
I'm
So Angry. What Can I Do?
Dear
Annie,
I
am 13 and for a long time I've been really angry. I think it's
because my dad is so mean to my mom. He's always yelling and screaming
and he hits her. My mom cries a lot and my brother and I escape
to our rooms.
I
hate feeling this way and I don't know how to make my dad stop.
What can I do?
Signed
Angry
Dear
Angry,
You
have every right to be angry. Your mom, your brother and you are
victims of domestic violence. Many people think that domestic
violence only affects the mother or father who is being abused.
It goes a lot deeper … it affects the kids too.
Growing
up in a violent home is one of the most terrifying and traumatic
experiences a child can go through.
Your
mom needs to get help and so do you. Kids who grow up in violent
homes can be helped through Intervention, prevention, and support
programs.
The
first step is for you and your brother to talk to your mom. Tell
her how angry, upset and scared you are. Give her this number:
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Spousal,
Partner and Child Abuse
Sometimes it's hard for a mom to report the abuse because she's
worried about how to support your brother, you and her, and worried
about how your dad will react. This hotline can really help. It's
just a matter of taking that first step. Also, if your mom is
hesitant and
needs some advice and an ear, please tell her to contact:
Mental Health Info Source 1-800-447-4474 Mental Health Resources
and Information
They can help her by referring her to someone who she can speak
with confidentially who can help her take that first step towards
a safe place and healing for all of you.
By getting help, you will start to heal and the anger will go
away!
Annie
July 2, 2004
Could
I Have Been Sexually Molested?
Dear
Annie,
I
am 17 now but when I was 5 years old, my uncle used to put his
hands in my panties and rub me. He told me not to tell anyone.
He said it made us both feel good. He did this until I was 12
when I started my period, and then it stopped. Does that mean
I was sexually molested? I feel so weird and ugly all the time.
Signed,
In the Dark
Dear
In the Dark,
Anytime
someone touches a child on or in their private parts it is wrong.
Even though he did not penetrate you, you were sexually molested
and a victim of child abuse.
Have
you ever told your parents or anyone? Did you ever confront your
uncle?
What
happened was not your fault but, Annie recommends that you speak
to your parents who can take you to see a trained therapist or
you can talk to a trusted professional. Because you are still
in high school you can speak to a school counselor or go to a
rape center if you are afraid to talk to your parents about this.
Please
feel free to contact the Youth For Youth Partnership peer mentors
who are there for you at www.youthforyouth.org . There are also
hotlines such as:
Mental
Health Info and Resources
1-800-447-4474
Nationwide Referral Network for Kids in Crisis
1-800-KID-SAVE (542-7283) Nationwide Referral Line
National Crisis Line
1-866-334-4357
National Victim Center
1-800-FYI-CALL (2255)
National Youth Crisis Hotline
1-800-448-4663
Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
If
you are reading this and sexual molestation is an issue for you,
or for someone you know, talking with a professional who has experience
in this area, joining a survivors group, or reading about sexual
molestation is a big help. Know the facts, be aware and know that
you are not alone! Talking to a professional can be a huge help.
Annie
July 7, 2004
Speaking
Up For The First Time. What Do I Do?
Dear Annie,
I never told anyone before, but I was physically abused from the
time I was four until my mom died last year when I turned sixteen.
She used to punch me in the stomach and hit me with a chair on
my back so no one would see my bruises. She told me I wasn't wanted
and would never amount to anything good. She told me if I told
anyone I would be sent to jail for lying.
I've
never told anyone until now. She's gone and I have no one to talk
to. I'm afraid if I do someone else will beat me. What do I do?
Signed
Lost and Scared
Dear
Lost and Scared,
It is awful that you had to go through that cruel treatment
…physically, verbally and emotionally. Your mother was
sick and had you told anyone, you would not have been arrested.
It is so brave and courageous of you to speak up now. You have
taken the first step to healing.
If you can go to your father, tell him and ask him to take you
to a therapist trained in child abuse. If you cannot go to your
father, you must tell a trusted adult so you can get the appropriate
help. School counselors are helpful, clergy, even a friend's
parents or another adult family member.
Please feel free to contact the Youth For Youth Partnership
peer mentors who are here for you at www.youthforyouth.org .
Here are some places to contact:
Mental Health Info Source 1-800-447-4474
National Crisis Line 1-866-334-4357
National
Institute of Mental Health 1-888-ANXIETY Mental Health Resources
and Information
Nationwide Referral Network for Kids in Crisis 1-800-KID-SAVE
(542-7283) Nationwide Referral Line
National Victim Center 1-800-FYI-CALL (2255) Violent Crime Victims
National Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663 Youth Crisis Hotline
Teen Help Line 1-800-400-0900 Help Line For Troubled Teens
Teen Hot Line 1-800-747-8336 Hot Line For Troubled Teens
Youth Development International 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663) Youth
Crisis Hotline
The healing process is a long one but you will get through this.
Annie
July 12, 2004
It's
My Fault. What Should I Do To Make It Stop?
Dear
Annie,
I
just turned 18. My father has been molesting me since I was
11. The problem is he still does it. I feel like I am old enough
to stop it, but it still happens. I know
it's my fault. I just don't know what to do.
Signed
Guilt
Dear
Guilty,
The
only one who is guilty is your father. None of this is your
fault. The only reason you think it is your fault is because
your father has brainwashed you into thinking it's your fault.
That is what abusers do … all of them.
Number
one …. it is definitely NOT your fault. As for being 18
and old enough to stop it ….that's not true either. Being
molested is all you have known since the age of 11.
Put in simpler terms … if you are addicted to chocolate
- all you know is you want that chocolate. Well, being molested
is all you know. You do not know a father who is respectful,
loving and nurturing. So being able to stop it is very difficult.
I
am assuming you haven't told your mother. If you can I would
recommend doing so. If you cannot, then please speak to a counselor
at school or a trusted adult who can help you.
In
addition to speaking with our youth peer mentors at www.youthforyourh.org
you should contact these places:
Rape
Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Rape Abuse and Incest
National
Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Spousal, Partner
and Child Abuse
National Victim Center 1-800-FYI-CALL (2255) Violent Crime Victims
National
Institute of Mental Health 1-888-ANXIETY Mental Health Resources
and Information
Please take that first step. If you are having a hard time doing
that let us know. You are awesome, you are brave and a hero!
The first step to healing is to find that hero inside you and
claim victory!
Annie
July 13, 200
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